Dogs, Death and AND...

And...

A lot can be said in such a small word. And. What follows this little word could make all the difference. It's the great unknown. The deep beyond the deep. The light at the far edge of the darkness.

Brandy was MY dog. You know...MINE. He came to me when I called. We ran together in fields...and in the pines. We laid down together in the grass and rolled around. We were friends, as much as a boy and a dog could be. When Brandy died I shuddered with great, long, body-shaking sobs. Brandy was gone, and I felt a deep loss, the kind that only death can bring. Even a young boy knows that death holds some sort of mastery over life.

Cody died today...and though my own body did not shudder, I'm pretty sure that someone else's did. Because Cody was someone's dog. Someone ran in the fields...and in the pines. Someone laid down in the grass and rolled around. Some else was Cody's friend, and now he is gone.

I tried to tell Ezra that Cody was dead. That he would not see Cody when he went to Grandma and Grandpa's house. I tried to tell Ezra that Cody's body was buried in the ground. But he wouldn't listen to me. He wasn't sad. He didn't feel any sort of loss. He just told me something that made me pause.

"My gonna push back the grass daddy." I'm going to push back the grass AND...see Cody.

Ezra is implying that contrary all the laws of physics, death does NOT hold final mastery, because he will simply push back the grass and dirt to get to Cody's body AND...there he will be...alive.

Ezra is right. Death does not have mastery over all things. Theologians like to use the word "resurrection"...but I actually like the word "AND" just fine.

One of my favorite artists says it better than I ever could.

And...is the juice of the joints of the motion of life
And...rose three days after he was crucified

"My gonna push back the grass daddy."

Ezra, thanks for reminding me that it's possible.

More Beautiful

When we were alone, I told Ethan that I had overheard him tell Shell she's beautiful. I think I was wondering about his motives. Why would a child who, most of the time, is consumed with attending to, or satisfying, himself (not unlike the rest of us) suddenly stop and notice the beauty in another person? His reply? "Well...she IS beautiful."

My question about Ethan's motives is gone.

Beautiful

The other day, out of the blue, I heard Ethan's voice from the other room. "Mom, you are beautiful." My heart jumped. If only he knew how much his words mean.

Cussing

A riddle: When is the only time it's actually funny to hear the f-word?

Answer: When it's your two year old trying to say "truck", but replaces the "t" with an "f".

A Glimpse Into the Future?

Music may be the language of the soul. If so, what might the soul say?

I still remember listening to (and singing along with...at the top of my lungs) Barry Manilow every year at Christmas time. "I write the songs that makes the whole world sing..." And then there was Ray Stevens, "Oh yes, they call him the streak, fastest thing on two feet..."

It's been fascinating to witness Ethan and Ezra as they interact with various kinds of music. Do they actually like the music we listen to or do they only listen to it because I do? What will they listen to when they can decide for themselves? Will they like the same kind of music that I do, and will I be able to tolerate it when they don't? Which songs will they remember? How will music shape them? Will they become singers or musicians like me?

Sometimes in the truck, Ethan will say, "Dad put on some rockin' music." He's not kidding either, if I put on Bad Company, he'll say..."No, put on the ROCKIN' music. Put on Wolfmother."

As for me...at some point, Barry Manilow gave way to Thousand Foot Krutch... "Throw up your Rawkfist, if you're feeling it when I drop this!" At least for now, the boys don't seem to mind.

Underwater

What is it about water that draws young children like a moth to a flame? Is it the danger? Every child realizes the danger when they gulp that first gallon of water and realize just how much they take breathing for granted... Is it the mystery? It's an entirely different, beautifully silky world down there where things like fish not only see, but actually live full time. Or do children, somehow, inherently understand that water empowers human beings of any age to simply...play (if we let ourselves) and that play is at core, essential to the well-being of the human soul. Well, at this point I seriously doubt Ethan and Ezra understand that...but I think I do. And in witnessing to and joining in their play, I can honestly say that I am becoming more of who I was created to be...a creature at play in the world. For that, my sons, I am truly grateful.

Superstars

When you're 2, all it takes to be a superstar is some tunes and dance moves, both of which are plentiful.

The Power of Imagination

Blogging seems to have empowered my sense of perception... On the first day of blogging, I have noticed a multitude of amazingly simple, beautiful little acts. While I was busy installing register covers in the breezeway, Ethan and Ezra decided they would take apart Shell's new clothespins (note...they are BRAND NEW) and make them into stock cars. This is easy of course for a child in touch with his imagination. I see clothespins...which mean WORK...and they see brightly colored, high powered, NASCAR stock cars flying around the track at Daytona. With easy access to markers, the transformation was complete in minutes. Again...brilliant!

Pockets

For the past few days, Ethan and Ezra have been especially preoccupied with cereal. This is really nothing new, other than I've noticed quite a bit more cereal on the floor. I just figured out why. Ezra has decided that he likes cereal so much that he simply needs to carry it around with him...in his pockets! And why not? That way he always has a snack when he needs it. Brilliant!